It’s funny the things that can bring you closer to other people. I never thought having two miscarriages and being an alumni of infertility and its subsequent treatments would have a good side, but it has. Apparently, in my neighborhood more moms than I realized have been through the same experiences as me. News of my recent troubles have opened up the floodgates. I’ve formed a bond with these women.
Amongst the circle of women I was already friendly with there are four who have had miscarriages (two of whom also had reproductive help to have their children). Three other moms who used fertility drugs and procedures to have their children and are or will be doing the same to have another baby. I never knew so many of us needed help to have our babies.
Then there are the moms who I didn’t know who have heard about my story and have come out of the woodwork. There’s Sarah who has three girls. Her oldest is almost five and was an in vitro baby. She then miscarried twins at 16 weeks into her second pregnancy. Then she gave birth to another set of twins who were born three months premature. She’s still struggling to accept the medical and developmental issues that her girls experience. There are a few other moms that I have met while on the playground that have also experienced similar situations to mine.
Plus almost every other woman I’ve talked to knows at least one woman who has miscarried or been through fertility treatments. It’s like an epidemic. In Big’s office there is one department that had eleven women who all had to see the same reproductive endocrinologist for help to conceive and only one was not able to. She adopted two beautiful boys from Russia.
But I’m truly astounded by the number of women in my neighborhood who are like me. It makes me wonder why this is happening to so many of us. Is it because most of us waited until we were in our thirties to have children? Is it an environmental factor that has plagued my generation? It seems odd to know that more of my female friends have had fertility help than not.
I’m happy to have met so many strong and caring moms. It’s been nice to have a circle of people to talk to. I’m just sorry that we couldn’t have bonded over something a little happier. It’s okay though, because now we’re all relishing our lives as moms and sharing that experience together too.