My grandmother used to have a small ceramic pitcher that had these large ears. Whenever an adult was saying something that wasn’t meant for little people to hear she would point to the pitcher. As a kid I never quite got the message of what she was trying to tell the grown ups. I’m a parent now and I get it.
The other night as we were all snuggled together in bed my son turned to me and said, “You have some issues.”
I was stunned and turned to Big and asked where Shorty learned that. My loving husband looked at me with a smirk on his face and said, “From you dear. You say it quite often.”
I thought about that and you know something I do say that quite a lot. I just never realized my toddler was listening and saving it for future use. It’s not the only thing he’s picked up from us. He learned ‘gross’ from me because I say that a lot too. And Big and I are both guilty of saying ‘shit’ and every now and again Shorty repeats us when we slip around him.
I made the mistake of telling Shorty he had diarrhea the other day. Ever since then every time I change his pants he asks if it’s diarrhea. A few days ago I was putting him in the carseat and he told me, “Daddy has diarrhea.”
There were people walking by who heard this and were trying not to laugh. I was so glad Big was not there because anyone who knows Big knows that he gets very mortified and upset whenever other people talk about bathroom issues, especially his. Plus Daddy did not have diarrhea anyway so Shorty just pulled that one from thin air.
In light of all this Big and I are trying to be more careful of what we say around Shorty. We’d hate to have embarrassing family secrets broadcast to the neighbors. I worked in daycare years ago and I know what kids can tell other people about their parents. I shudder to think of what Shorty is going to reveal to some unsuspecting person someday and how mortified Big or I will be. I wish I had my grandmom’s ceramic pitcher as a visual reminder to watch what I say around Shorty.