An Urgent Feeling That EVERYTHING Has To Get Done NOW!

Please excuse me while I lose my mind yet again.  It must be the Clomid and all this trying to have another baby crap that’s the driving force behind all this.  I have this feeling that EVERYTHING that I have not done since we moved here three years ago needs to be done NOW.

I’m looking around my house and I just feel like things are out of control and that I can’t possibly get pregnant with things being in the state they are.  It’s also the fear that if I get pregnant someone is going to tell me I have to be on bed rest and then I’ll have to leave so many projects unfinished.  I’m tired of unfinished projects.  I have closets jam-packed with items I need to go through and either find a proper home for them or get rid of them.  I have a basement that still needs to be put in order.  I can’t leave the storage area as it is and I can’t leave all this Christmas stuff that needs to go back in the basement in one of our guest rooms.  But before I can put the storage area together I HAVE to go through every damn book that is currently piled there and decide what I’m keeping and what I can let go.  And before I can give or throw any book away I must make a list of every book before it leaves my house so I remember that I actually read it and don’t buy it again.

I’ve written before about how hard this purging of stuff is for me.  Books in particular are hard for me to get rid of.  I love books.  Books are sacred to me.  It’s just about killing me to even think of letting any go.  But let some go I must. (Gee, Master Yoda would have been proud of that last sentence.)  We just do not have the room in this house to keep every stinkin’ thing I have read.  And the purging MUST. BE. DONE. NOW!

I feel the need to empty all my closets and start chucking.  NOW!  All the linens need to be washed.  NOW!  I have to get the Christmas shopping done.  NOW!  I have to start creating meal plans.  NOW!  All outgrown baby items must be bagged, boxed, labeled and properly stored.  NOW!  Get the point.

Is this early nesting happening?  I didn’t nest with Shorty.  The urge never struck me.  Maybe because we had only been living here less than a year when he was born and I didn’t have so much clutter everywhere.  But really, why the sudden need to have EVERY aspect of my life, including all the things I want to do with this blog and all the emails I need to answer, clean, clutter free, and under control at this moment.  Is it because I feel as if I have no control over my reproductive life?  Who knows.  But if someone could please tell me how to get this nagging voice that demands all this quick action out of my damn head I’d really appreciate it.

This entry was posted in General, Home Improvement, Household, Infertility, Uncategorized, Women. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to An Urgent Feeling That EVERYTHING Has To Get Done NOW!

  1. faemom says:

    Breathe. Sounds crazy; it also sounds like the Clomid, especially because the urgency tone doesn’t sound like your own. It also sounds very much like nesting. But I wonder if you wrote a list in specific detail and started getting one thing done at a time and cross it off, if that would help. I might sugest that you wait for the urgency to fall off before you get rid of stuff, just in case your zealotness gets you to throw something away that you might want to keep. And another suggestion (oh, I’m helpful. Just say shut up), I only keep the books I KNOW I’ll read again. Of course, there are a lot of them.

  2. keystoclaritycoach says:

    Yes, just allow yourself a deep loving breath. Purging, or clearing out, is very therapeutic for the soul. Sometimes clutter can cause stagnant energy, and by clearing it the flow of energy in your house and you will improve. Who knows it might even have a positive effect on your fertility! Take moments to slow down and nurture yourself along the way. Clomid can make our hormones a little crazy! So be conscious about taking good care of yourself.

    Coach Louise

  3. girlymama says:

    when i was pregnant with colin, i was insane. IN. SANE. about cleaning the house up and out. it drove my husband nuts.
    plus, i love purging. even normally 😉 its good for the soul! don’t knock yourself out, do it gradually, but i say purge away!!

  4. Kiirekass says:

    Not the books!! Even in high school you had the best library around. Wish I lived closer and we could trade our boxes of books that are overflowing from the house. And hang in there with the Clomid. Been there and done that too. Though I fear that Clomid might have some residual effects that are intermittent as I still get on those “Everything has to get done now moments” that my husband just loves so much 🙂

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