Do You Facebook?

It finally happened.  I’ve been lured into the web of Facebook.  I blame this on Big.  He signed up and started getting pinged by people he hadn’t heard from in years.  Naturally, I got curious when he couldn’t seem to tear himself away from the computer.  So, I caved and signed up too.  Now I’m hooked.

I really don’t have the time and quite frankly still am not sure I see why so many people really love Facebook.  Yet, I can’t stop checking to see if anyone else from my past has resurfaced.  It’s like an addiction.  Plus it’s almost like a sport to see if there is anyone from the past that is interested enough in me to either accept my invitation to be friends or to extend an invitation to me.  It’s a real eye-opener when you see who pops up.  So far this is what I’ve learned.

There are many people on Facebook that I know but could care less about connecting with.  It’s become painfully obvious to me that in my younger years I had way more male friends than female friends.  I say this because almost all my Facebook friends are guys I went to high school with.  Before you start assuming that I was one of those easy girls let me explain why this probably is the case.  My freshman year of high school was by far one of my worst years.  The group of girls that were my best friends from elementary school turned on me.  At the time I had no idea why.  In retrospect I have a better idea.  I finally caught up to them developmentally that year and the boys were giving me more attention.  I had better clothes.  To sum it up, I became a threat to them and the ugly green eyed monster came out.  In the ensuing years they took turns choosing a new victim every year.  In light of that I became better friends with the guys because they stood by me.

I do still find it a bit strange that almost none of the women I invited to be my Facebook friend have responded yet but the men are coming out in full force.  I’m thinking they are falling prey to the same thing that has allured me – the need to find out what happened to everyone you knew way back when.  Do they have hair?  Are they fat?  Married?  Kids?  What have they done with their lives.

Some of the people have not surprised me in the least.  They are doing exactly what I thought they would.  Others have thrown me a few surprises.  It’s kinda fun to find out that one of my good friends is now the father of four and is in Europe.  The last time I talked to him he was a father of one and working on Wall Street.  It makes me feel kinda old and also like I haven’t done enough with my life but it also makes me happy to find out that he seems to be happy and doing well in life.

But really what are we all to do with these new “friends”.  I’ve looked at other people’s friend lists.  I can tell you that a lot of people have connected via Facebook who were never connected in real life.  Why?  Are we so desparate to make it look like everyone knows us that we’re willing to make a Facebook connection with people we hardly knew just because we spent some time together in high school, college, or on the job?  I’ve only sent friend invitations to people I really want to hear from.  I just don’t see the point in connecting with someone who I had little time for in the past just so I can say I have a lot of Facebook friends.

Maybe it’s just me.  I do tend to be the pessimist in life but I’m beginning to feel like Facebook is just another sad gimmick to prove how popular or worthy we are to others.  Of course, this won’t stop me from checking to see if anyone has left me a message on my wall.  I may be a pessimist but I’m also nosey and occasionally I do like to feel as if others care about me.  If I’m lucky someone that I really am interested in reconnecting with will come out of the woodwork and I will have the pleasure of making a new-old friend.

So, how about you?  Do you Facebook?  Why?

This entry was posted in Community, Facebook, friends, General, This and That. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Do You Facebook?

  1. Great post. I recently joined facebook, too, and I am still processing the experience. You raise a number of incredibly good points! How are you feeling about it now?

  2. Kiirekass says:

    I Facebook now too, thanks to you! Though I have to say I have not really looked for old friends too hard and find that mostly I have connected with those people already in my life who also happen to be on Facebook. It also works great for letting other moms know when we’ll be in the park so they don’t have to wonder if there are other kids out there to play with. Though I have to say, a few people from high school found me. We’ll have to compare notes sometime!

  3. incognitomom says:

    Outside voice, thanks for your comments. I’m still hooked on the whole process of seeing who’s out there but still not completely convinced this is a useful tool. For the most part it’s been nice to see pictures of people I haven’t seen in years and learn a little about them and their families but it’s been more like a high school reunion type tool. You find out where they work, how many kids, etc. Fun but so far nothing that has changed my life. And the people I am communicating with the most are people that I was already happy to have in my life anyway.

  4. incognitomom says:

    Kiirekass, it was great talking to you the other night! I’m glad Facebook gave you a reason to call. It’s been too long.

  5. faemom says:

    I’ve facebook for a year because all my old college friends had picked something, and I figured facebook was better than myspace. I’ve re-connected with some old friends that I lost contact with, and as my little cousins get older, I can keep an eye on them. Right now I’m on a six way conversation with several friends about Twilight, finding out who saw it, when, how, and those of us in an hour’s drive or so may get together, which is the best part of facebook. I also like the superpoke option because it gives me a reason to say hi without writing

  6. That’s really interesting, Incognitomom–thanks for responding. And Faemom, I think superpoke is kind of hilarious, too!

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