… Pooper Party? Well, it seems we have a new gathering place in the House of Incognito. Ready for this …. it’s the bathroom. Yep, that’s right we party in the crapper these days.
How does this happen, you are surely asking yourself. Well, I’ll tell you – have toddler, get crazy notion it’s about time he starts potty training, and voila, it’s a potty party. Now to fully understand how Big and my life has changed since the birth of Shorty you have to go all the way back to our first few days as parents.
You see the poopie drama started about four or five days after we brought Shorty home. The child would not poop. So the pediatrician recommended inserting a Vaseline covered Q-tip about half an inch into Shorty’s rectum. That’s right, you read that last statement correctly. So there we were brand new, nervous parents debating who was going to do this horrific deed and wondering if we’d damage our perfect child with this act. Big drew the short straw and had to wield the Q-tip while I held our baby still, praying for the best. Moments after it was done the pooping commenced. Now I can not explain to you how happy these two parents were that there was poopie. We knew right then and there that life as we had previously known it was over. I mean, who does a high five and a little jiggidy, jig over poop?
But the poopie drama didn’t end there. There were a handful of other occasions when the Q-tip trick had to be used. We’re praying that Shorty’s subconscious doesn’t remember these incidents. As Shorty grew and solids were introduced his efforts to poop got more interesting. It seems that constipation plagues our boy. I have learned that Yo Baby yogurt and yogurt drinks are our best friends. It is one of the few things that will help relieve the constipation. Too much white rice or pasta in Shorty’s diet is the enemy.
One of the most helpless and painful experiences as a parent has been those occasions when I’ve watched Shorty try to push out a poopie for an hour or more. He gets so distraught and listless when extreme constipation sets in. He hangs on me giving me those sad eyes that shout, “Help me, Mommy. It hurts and I just want to get it out.” We actually celebrate when the poop finally comes.
And lest you think it was just all about poop well let me tell you pee was not a pleasant experience in the beginning either. You see Shorty was a sprayer. For the first five months of his life no matter how quick or careful Big and I were Shorty still managed to spray pee all over the changing table, himself, us, the rugs, the walls, etc. My mother remarked that she had never seen anything like it. Thank God that stopped.
After all that, potty training seemed like no big deal. I should have known better. When it comes to Shorty and his potty business nothing is easy. We’ve had a little potty for almost a year now. When I first brought it home Shorty would cling to me every time I tried to put him on it. So, I stopped trying figuring he was young and there was no need to make potty training a traumatic experience. Every few months Big or I would try putting him on the potty to test the waters. Some days we were successful and he’d sit on it and other days it was a no go.
He’ll be two and a half this week and now Big and I would like to press the potty training issue a bit. Shorty has shown signs he’s ready. He usually wakes up with a dry diaper. He knows when he has to poop because he goes and hides to do his business. He has on occasion told us he needs his diaper changed. He wants to wear pull ups, although maybe that is because he likes the Cars character pull ups more than the Sesame Street diapers. He is even getting slightly more receptive to sitting on the potty. He has yet to actually do anything in the potty and this is how we ended up in the situation we did yesterday.
It started innocently enough. I told Shorty it was time to sit on the potty and he willingly went. He insisted on bringing pen and paper with him so we could draw washing machines and dryers. (I’ve told you he’s obsessed with household appliances, right?) I was really hopeful that this time he would pee in the potty because his diaper was dry and it had been awhile since his last wet diaper. So, we sat and drew our pictures.
After about five minutes Big decided to join us. And we sat, and we sat, and we sat. We talked about the sound that pee-pee makes in the potty. Mommy even did a live demonstration. Shorty pushed and grunted. We tried bribing him with a visit to the toy store if he peed or pooped in the potty. Big turned the faucet on hoping for subliminal influence. Forty-five minutes later, and tons of pictures of washing machines, dryers, and vacuum cleaners, there was still nothing in the potty. Mommy cried, “Uncle.”
Five minutes after our party in the bathroom Shorty tells us he has to pee. We rush up the stairs to the little potty. (Note to self – the little potty needs to come to the basement bathroom when we’re down there.) But by the time we got to the potty it was too late. He had already started peeing in the pull up. We sat him on the potty anyway for a few minutes because I had the feeling he had stopped peeing when we took the pants off and still had more to do. Nothing happened.
Back in pants and happily playing he peed in the pull up again. We changed him and explained that when he felt like he had to go potty he should tell us and we’d take him to sit on the little throne. So, what happened? An hour later we were changing poopie from the pull up. I’m starting to suspect that he holds it in while on the potty and only feels comfortable letting it out when he’s in diapers or pull ups.
So we’ll have more potty parties in hopes that some day soon he’ll feel comfortable enough to let it all go. When that day finally comes then the real celebrating will start.