Insane or What?

Today I was supposed to take Shorty to Kindermusik and then we were going to drive to Jersey to visit my mom.  Woke up in plenty of time to get out the door, but I had a horrible headache that was making me sick to my stomach. 

(Note to Self – Need to find general practitioner soon so I can get a physical to find out why I keep getting these headaches. )  Anyhoo … 

Ended up calling my mother on the way to Kindermusik to tell her we wouldn’t be there today.  She was totally understanding and even suggested we skip Kindermusik.  Was already feeling guilty because we were going to be late to class and have already missed two classes so far this session.  Started feeling like I was going to cry because we were running late.  Felt like incompetent mother for the billionth time since Shorty’s birth.  Managed to not let the tears escape.

We were only maybe seven minutes late to class.  Here’s the kicker … I’m feeling guilty about missed classes and being late and not doing enough to give my child an enriching life and we get there and he doesn’t want to be there.  Seriously, he said “I don’t want to” to almost every activity.  He couldn’t wait to leave.

Is it me or what, but I feel like I’m putting all this pressure on myself to be the greatest mother in the world and I’m the only one who cares about this stuff.  Most times Shorty would rather sleep in than go to Kindermusik or soccer.  He could care less if we get there early, on time, or late.  Yet, I feel like if I don’t do these things, and do them in a manner that only someone who is perfect could, then I am a complete loser mom.  So, most days I feel like an incompetent mother.

Am I insane or is this what motherhood is like for others too?

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8 Responses to Insane or What?

  1. Sandra says:

    I don’t know. I have four children and have never enrolled any of them in any kindermusic or mom and me or whatever… and yet they all walk upright, speak full sentences, and get good grades. And I’m not exhausted and they’re not miserable.

    Words of wisdom from experience? I dunno. I don’t believe in scheduling every minute, I don’t believe Mozart in the womb makes babies smarter, I believe sliding on the slide in the playground, getting bruised, and waiting for formal eductation to start in kindergarten is the way to go… but I’m old fashioned that way! 😀

    • incognitomom says:

      Sandra, thanks for your comments. I’m there with you on not scheduling every minute. We have a lot of unscheduled time. We’ve only really started all these activities the last nine months and sometimes I do wonder if it’s all necessary. I think it’s more for me than him. It gives me a chance to actually see other adults occassionally and it gives me a half hour or hour here and there in which someone else has the ‘what to do with our time” ideas. Plus I guess I have fallen prey to the school of thought that young children need all these ‘educational’ opportunities to be ready for school. I should take a page from my mother’s book. We never went to classes, camps, etc. and yet when we started Kindergarten my brother and I were ready, adjusted, well-behaved, and got good grades. Kudos to you doing things your way and not the way we’re led to believe it should be.

  2. Sandra says:

    Eductation. I swear that was a typo and not intentional. LOL (hey, I have a 15 month old climbing on me – you’re lucky you got punctuation!)

  3. Sandra says:

    Other adults? What’s that? You mean those tall people that speak in multi-syllabic sentences? 🙂

    Seriously, I’m partially lazy, and partially of the camp that my kids will be equal in intelligence to those who lived in front of Baby Einstein DVDs. There are studies, if you will, that go both ways.

    I figure everyone in my generation survived, and survived well, when our parents kicked us out of the house when the sun came up and told us to come home when the sun went down…

    Now, if my kids (when they’re older, like the 11 or 15 year old) ask about sports or instruments or something, then we’ll dive into it. If I see my 4 year old pretending to be a ballerina, we can discuss it. I don’t want to insinuate that I wouldn’t entertain it, but I’m not encouraging it.

    Again, because I’m lazy, and I just want them to be kids. Old school. 🙂

  4. evenshine says:

    I’d say relax, that you’re doing a great job. Structure is good, but too much is bad. You are NOT an incompetent mother, but we all have our down days. The tender moments make up for the tough ones. Hang in there.

  5. I tend to think the classes for very young children are really for the moms so WE don’t go insane. I did classes with Sam when he was a baby. He could really take it or leave it. I don’t think it did anything for him one way or another, at least not that a playdate, playgroup, or trip to the playground couldn’t do.

    I then signed Robby up for a music class when Sam started pre-school. I went to the first class and was immediately hit by a very strong sense of “OMG – I am so OVER this!” All it did was make him tired and cranky and screaming for the drive home, the timing wasn’t good and he didn’t want to do the class at all. And neither did I. So I pulled us out and got some money back. We have a much better time taking walks together while Sam is at school:)

  6. Kiirekass says:

    I agree with Beth! I had my oldest daughter in all sorts of classes (swimming, music, gymnastics) and then my second child was born. She doesn’t get to go to classes because timing doesn’t work out and I don’t think it has made a bit of difference! When my oldest is in pre-school, my youngest and I just spend one-on-one time together which is probably way more important. Clearly you have that covered with all the book memorization 🙂 Now that I think back on it, the classes were CLEARLY more for me to get me out of the house around other people. Now we just do one class that I let my oldest child pick because she wants to go and not because I want her to go. She has picked gymnastics. Though this summer they will be in swimming lessons for safety reasons.

    My take, save your money on the classes if Shorty doesn’t want to go and buy more books!

  7. lora says:

    I agree with Beth too. I’m freaking right now because my kid is going to miss a swim class in a couple weeks because he is going with my dad for a week.

    Um, why am I not focusing on the fact that I will be child-free for a week and not on a 60 minute pool session?

    It’s hard. You aren’t alone

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