Yikes, it’s been over a month since my last post. I didn’t mean to go this long without saying anything but so much has happened and my mind, heart, and body are still recovering. I’ll explain more later why I’ve been gone but for now I wanted to give a shout out to Lora over at Fever who reached out to see if I was okay. She is one reason why I love the blogging community. It’s nice to know someone cares. Thanks woman. You made my day. You rock!
I am fine but I’m trying to work some things out in my head. I’m not quite there yet and every time I try to write things get all muddled and nothing sounds the way I want it to sound. Here’s a brief glimpse into one of the things that I’m struggling with – remember that last post, well number four has hit me hard. Loving an addict is not an easy thing and it’s not something I would ever wish on anyone else. But that is a post for another day.
Another thing I’m struggling with is the direction I want this blog to take. You see I am a mommy blogger. But it’s not all I want to be. It’s not because I think there is anything wrong with mommy bloggers but there is so much more to me than that. Besides I find that my best writing is the stuff that rips my insides apart a little as I write. When what I write makes me cry or hits me at the places where I feel most vulnerable then I know I’m being true to myself. But here’s the thing, a lot of that stuff is dark and gloomy and who wants to read a blog that is heavy on the dark and gloomy, right? And besides not everything in my world is dark or gloomy. There are a lot of good moments too. So, I’m still in limbo trying to define who I am as a blogger. And that my friends makes it harder for me to write.
So there in a nutshell is where I’ve been for the last month. I’m still reading all of you even if I’m not commenting. Maybe my silence will come to an end or maybe it will continue for a little longer. I really don’t know at this moment but I’m still here quietly trying to sort it all out.