Change of Scenery

Being a stay-at-home-mom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be some days.  There are those days when both you and your child feel isolated and trapped in a box.  You are going stir crazy trying to find ways of keeping your little one amused and they are doing their best to get into every thing you don’t want them to be into.  They won’t eat.  They won’t sleep.  You can’t concentrate because of all the whining and crying.  You’re ready to kill each other or have seriously considered slitting your own throat to put yourself out of the misery.  This is when you know it’s time to get out and do something not planned.  It doesn’t matter what else you thought you had to do that day.  Put all that aside.  Rethink your priorities, get the car keys, and drive somewhere.  Anywhere.

Today was one of those days.  No one is sleeping well in our house again.  By morning we’re all cranky and irritable.  Shorty has decided that he is going on a sorta, kinda eating strike so he is hungry but won’t eat.  I haven’t as of yet figured out why he’s doing this.  He’s bored.  I’m bored.  He’s cranky and hungry.  I’m tired and cranky.  I’m out of patience and ideas.

By 12:30 this afternoon I couldn’t take it anymore.  I packed up our things and to McDonald’s we went.  Not exactly my favorite place to eat but I was hoping a Happy Meal and a strawberry milkshake would entice Shorty to let something of substance pass his lips.   He ate enough to make me feel like he’s not going to wither away before the day’s end.  He felt better.  I felt better.

He fell asleep curled up in the carseat with his favorite blue thermal blankie almost as soon as we got back in the car.  I should be grocery shopping as we have nothing to eat in house.  But you know what.  It’s almost five and he’s still sleeping.  I’m getting peace and quiet.  I’m sure he’ll be waking any minute.  I’ll figure dinner out at the last minute.  I’ll go grocery shopping tonight or tomorrow morning before my appointment with the fertility doctor.  (Oh yeah, that’s one of those things I’ve been trying to write about for weeks but haven’t quite gotten my thoughts together enough to actually do.)

In the meantime, I’m taking comfort in the fact that even though my Big-n-Tasty combo meal is feeling like a brick in my gut, I managed to find a reasonable solution that didn’t involve injury or death to settle my nerves and get my kid to eat and take a nap.  Everyone will be much better off all thanks to the car and McDonald’s.

Tip of My Tongue

I’m still here.  I haven’t abandoned blogging.  Time has been a problem lately but the real reason for my silence is that I can’t find the right words to convey what I want to say.  This blogging stuff is harder than it looks.  I’m working on something.  Hopefully, I’ll have the time and the right words soon.  Thanks for your patience.

Sibling Guilt

I had a strange moment today.  I’m not sure if it happened because I’m PMS-ing and feeling emotional or just because I’m having some guilty feelings about my life compared to my family’s.  I was driving my son to his well kid check up.  Shorty was sleeping in his carseat.  I started thinking about my brother and I started crying.

My brother and I are living polar opposite lives.  I won’t get in too much detail regarding his life because I don’t feel it’s my place to share his personal stuff without his permission but suffice it to say his life has had more drama, more lows, and more hardship than most people and he’s only 31 years old.  He’s caused many of his own problems through bad decisions and actions.  Then there are the things that have happened to him that can only be attributed to a dark, black cloud of the worst luck of anyone I know.  For example, several years ago he was involved in a minor fender bender.  He slid on a patch of road that gets notoriously slick in the rainy weather and bumped the car in front of him.  No big deal.  He and the elderly gentlemen he rear-ended pulled to the side of the road to check things out.  After seeing there was really no damage they were about to get back in their vehicles and drive off without getting the police or insurance companies involved.  Here’s when the black cloud of bad luck appeared.  At that exact moment another driver hit the same slick spot, lost control, and hit my brother and the other gentlemen as they were walking back to their cars.  My brother took the brunt of the collision as he was the person walking in front.  He had no health insurance so the damage he took to his knee and pelvis was never repaired properly.  He now suffers from frequent bouts of knee pain and swelling.  This accident also led to another severe life changing (for the worse) event that I will not discuss due to privacy.

At the moment my brother is one of the thousands in this country who is out of work.  His financial life is now in ruins and he can’t seem to turn it around.  He still has no health insurance or any other benefits.  I, on the other hand, am living a charmed life.  So, today as I drove to the pediatrician I started crying because I felt guilty that I seem to have all the luck and everything mostly going my way (unless you count the fertility thing but that’s another post) and my little brother just seems to have a shit life.

I feel like there is more I should be doing for him.  My brother never asks me for help.  He never begrudges me the life I have.  But I can’t help but feel like somehow it’s not fair that one of us has things so easy while the other struggles every day with every thing.  If there was something I could do to make all his problems go away I would.  The inequality in our lives makes me really sad.   I feel like a horrible person for having the life I do.

I’m not a church goer but I do believe in God and the power of prayer.  I’ve thought of calling one of the churches near me and asking to have my brother put on their prayer list.  So, for anyone out there who is reading, if you wouldn’t mind would you send some positive prayers, thoughts, vibes, or whatever you believe his way.  He could use all the positive energy he can get right now.

Shorty’s World

We’re back from vacation.  Time to reflect a little on some of Shorty’s latest antics.  He chose our vacation to really put on a show for his grandparents and to make us proud.  Here are a few of his actions.

1.  He now regularly bursts out in song - Old MacDonald, This Old Man, The ABCs, Row, Row, Row Your Boat, BINGO, The Farmer in the Dell, and many more.

2.  He also regularly recites books.  He’s got a memory like an elephant.  He can recite several of his books without even looking at them and does so often.

3.  Family Hugs - this is something we’ve been doing for months as part of the bedtime routine.  Big and I hold Shorty and we all hug.  Well, Shorty decided that dinner time was the new family hug time.  At least twice while on vacation he said, “Family Hug” and then proceeded to hold out both arms (like a cross) for Big and I to lean over and give him a hug.  Needless to say the grandparents thought this adorable.

4.  Daring Stair Climbing - Shorty has always been a daredevil when it comes to the stairs and many other things, but now he is becoming a little too over-confident in his abilities and wants to go up and down the stairs constantly.  There were four floors at the beach house and Big and I spent a good deal of time trying to divert Shorty’s attention to something a little less heart-pounding for mom and dad.

5.  Sand - He loves it.  Give him a bucket and a shovel and he’ll dig away.  He also likes to take big handfuls and just let it drop while he intently watches the sand fall back to earth.

6.  Water - Slow to warm up to it.  Took him a few go arounds in the pool before he stopped clinging so hard to me that I felt like he was melting into me.  Interactive fountains were a no go - lots of crying and screaming, “No shower.”  So, no cute pictures of Shorty playing in the interactive fountains.

7.  Speaking of showers - Apparently, strange bathtubs scare him too.  He cried every time Big or I took him in the shower and the one time I tried just giving him a bath thinking maybe if the shower curtain were open he would be more comfortable.  Nope, still cried.

8.  He likes older kids.  I’m not talking one or two years older.  I’m talking late elementary school kids.  He fawned all over my eleven year old nephew (to the point of being sappy), but we had to really push him to interact with my niece who is only two years older than Shorty.  He’s the same when I take him to the playground at home.  He ignores the little kids but wants to run after the big kids.

9.  Sentences - This week his language skills went up another notch.  He’s speaking mostly in sentences now and even trying to tell us little stories.

10. - Milk vacation - Apparently Shorty will not drink milk while on vacation.  He will drink juice, smoothies, milk shakes, yogurt drinks, water, and the few sips of soda Big allowed him to have, but he would not let a drop of milk pass his lips.  Now that we’re home the only thing we’re allowing him to have besided water is milk.  Vacation is over kid - time to go back to your regularly scheduled eating and drinking program.

10.  Shorty is a homebody - You could visually see the happiness and almost relief when we arrived home.  The first thing he did when he walked in the door was grab a vacuum and start cleaning the floors.  Once he felt the carpets were sufficiently cleaned he proceeded to pull out every toy that didn’t go on vacation with us.  I have a feeling I’ll be picking up lots of messes this week as Shorty reacquaints himself with his much beloved possessions.

That’s pretty much it besides all the other cute things he does.  I’ll refrain from anymore Shorty stories for today as I’m sure you’ve all gotten more that your fill of my child for the day.

Holy Laundry Batman!

Vacation is over and I’m faced with the arduous task of tackling the monumental mounds of laundry we now have.  Clothes, towels, bathing suits, swim shoes, sheets.  It should take me days to get it all done.  And of course by then there will be more clothes to wash.  I like doing laundry but this is even more laundry than I care to deal with.

Oh, and did I mention I’m one of those weirdos who doesn’t just sort laundry by light and dark.  No, I have to be anal and sort it by light and dark, warm and cold, delicate and not delicate, and hand wash.  I have to do Big’s new workout clothes separately because they can’t have fabric softener or else it will negate the absorbency of the fabric which is the whole reason Big bought these particular workout clothes.  I hang most of mine and Shorty’s clothes to dry so we’ll have laundry hanging everywhere.  I have my mother to thank for all these neurotic laundry rules.  She’s neurotic about laundry too.  It rubbed off on me and now I feel I absolutely must uphold these standards.

And now to the laundry room I go to continue depleting the waist high piles of dirty, smelly, sandy laundry.

Family Bonding

We’re still on vacation and having a great time.  This vacation is the annual gathering of Big’s side of the family.  Since his family is scattered in three different states we have formed a tradition of taking one family vacation so we can all spend time together.  This year we also included our eleven year old nephew from my side of the family.  We’ve still got the rest of the week to go but so far everything has been rolling along swimmingly (excuse me for the bad beach pun). 

It’s been fun to see how the family bonds.  One thing I’ve been particularly grateful for is the way Big’s family has made sure my nephew feels as much a part of this family gathering as the children who are blood related.  I was worried because Shorty and our niece are both shy of their second and fourth birthdays respectively.  That’s a big age difference for an eleven year old who is also just shy of his next birthday.  Fortunately, there is lots to do here for every age group.  The younger kids seem to enjoy the attention of an older kid too and my nephew is terrific with them.

A few days ago I stayed home with my little guy while the rest of the clan went on a three hour fishing expedition.  (Yes, many bad Gilligan’s Island jokes about the whole three hour tour thing were said.)  All who went had fun and Shorty took a good nap then enjoyed his time alone with mom.  The other night I took my nephew miniature golfing while everyone else stayed in and the next day we went souvenir shopping together.  It was a rare chance for us to have some quality time together without having a toddler interrupt us every few seconds. 

My sister-in-law and her husband have been a Godsend.  She is cool and fun and her husband goes right along.  They have listened to endless stories and answered countless questions about movies and songs that most adults find stupid but to an eleven year old are cool or funny.  These are the things I am not good at listening to.  They’ve purchased little gifts and snacks for all the kids.  My brother-in-law made the best pancakes one morning and my sister-in-law has pretty much cooked and baked most of the trip.

My mother and father-in-law have also been great.  My mother-in-law has also done too much kitchen duty.  Last night they took my nephew crabbing on the piers around here.  Big and I took Shorty in his stroller.  It was a good time even though we only caught 15 crabs and only one was big enough to keep.  Big went nuts with a net and was catching crab and the strangest looking skinny, pointy nosed fish we’ve ever since.  Too bad our little niece fell asleep and didn’t join us.

And speaking of our niece, oh my God, what a cutie.  I bought her some ballet clothes and a little bag for her birthday.  She was thrilled and did a little fashion show for us.  This child is girly personified and it’s been so much fun for me to be around her.  It’s been a nice change from all the boy stuff I’m usually surrounded by.  I wish we saw her more than once or twice a year.  Shorty needs to get better acquainted with his cousin.

We have had some down sides on this trip.  Big’s back is bothering him so he’s been popping painkillers and muscle relaxers.  It’s making him groggy and nasty plus he doesn’t feel like doing anything because he’s in pain.  My brother-in-law has been sick the last day or so too.  And several of our crew has broken out in minor skin rashes that necessitated a trip to the store for Cortisone. 

We’ve got two more days and I’m hoping to get more swimming and some Jet skiing in.  I’ll let you know how things turn out.

Three Words

Sun, Sand, Water.

Will write more another time, but that sums up our days right now.

Radio Control

In the words of Leo from The Little Einsteins, “I cannot believe it!”  My child is not even two and already he is telling me what to play on the car radio.  We spent most of the day running errands and Shorty spent most of our time in the car yelling, “No, not this song!”  So, I spent a good deal of time changing stations.  It was either that or listen to an all out tantrum every time he didn’t like my choice of music.

How exactly does this happen?  I remember dictating to my mom and dad what station to play in the car but I was much older than two when I was making these demands.  Is it normal for a two year old to have a preference in music?  Shorty has always had certain songs that he likes over others but this demanding that the station be changed until he hears one he likes is a bit much, don’t ya think?  It’s not bad enough that Big controls the radio when we drive but now I’m taking orders from a toddler in my own damn car.  Me thinks I’m gonna have to start introducing Shorty to my kind of music more often and hope that he takes a liking to it.  Until then I guess I will be putting up with more, “No, not that song,”  until he finds one he likes and happily says, “Yeah, this one.”

Murphy’s Law

So, we’re heading out for vacation soon and I’m trying to get ready.  Last week I bought laundry detergent because I was running low.  I go to use the new bottle and notice I picked up one of the scented ones.  Can’t use it because my son has a history of eczema.  So, I’m behind on the wash because I need to buy the right detergent tomorrow.

Haven’t had a cold in almost a year.  Of course, tonight my throat feels like it’s getting sore.  Why now?  Can’t I be healthy for this vacation?

Trying to plan Shorty’s birthday party because it’s in two weeks.  Tried to call the bakery to order his cake before we leave for vacation.  Couldn’t do it because they are on vacation until July 30th.  This is our absolute favorite bakery.  Now have to pray they will take the order on short notice.

It never fails, right?  Whatever can happen to make life more miserable for a busy mom will happen.

Life Is Good

You know those moments when life goes your way and you feel okay with yourself … I’m having one right now.  I pulled out an old pair of pants this morning fully expecting not to be able to get in them.  Surprise!  I’m wearing them right now.  Here’s the really special part not only are they soft and comfortable but they are about 15 years old.  That’s right FIFTEEN YEARS!  Let’s ruminate for a moment on that fact.

1.  Who makes pants these days that last that long without falling apart?
2.  Who makes pants these days that are still in style 15 years later?
3.  How is it possible that a pair of pants could be so soft and comfortable?
4.  HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I’M STILL FITTING INTO THESE PANTS?!!!

In case you haven’t guessed it’s that last one that gives me the big, warm fuzzy vibe here.  Granted they are a little tighter than I’d like them to be.  But they are not scandalously tight.  I couldn’t fit into them a few weeks ago.  I gained 50 pounds when I was pregnant with my son.  I don’t exercise.  I eat like a pig.  How is it possible that these wonderful pants that I bought in my early twenties still fit?

So, I’m feeling good.  My body may not be as tight and firm as it once was.  My stomach is no longer the flat, toned thing that it used to be.  BUT MY OLD PANTS STILL FIT!!!  Somehow this small thing has made me feel like dancing the happy dance.

So, just as soon as I go clean up the play doh my son just took out while I typed this post I’m going to go dance in the streets in my soft, feels like an old friend pair of pants .  Anyone want to join me?